Artsy Fartsy

I was doing some time travel, via old blogs, xanga, facebook, and old back up discs. Talk about super nostalgic... Well, during this time I came across a ton of old pictures of me at various stages in life and also some art work that I've done in the past. It's fun looking back at the pieces I no longer have, and I thought, heck, I might as well share them with you fine folks. Most of these works were before I dared at painting. I'm a natural drawer, but I'm getting better with paint.

As you can see, at some point I decided I wanted to incorporate paint. I was still primarily drawing and just filling in my drawings with paint.

I'm a huge fans of portraits, obviously. I started experimenting with shading with paint.

This was a start of my more whimsical side. It's supposed to be how Caleb makes me feel. I made it when we were dating.

Then I started painting more for reals....and that's where I am today, still trying to do more of that.

"Ash Wednesday"

"Daniel 7"

Untitled

I'm currently working on a painting, but it's slow goings. Sorry this is such a picture heavy post, but hopefully you enjoyed it.

Happy Valentines!

Caleb and I generally don't celebrate Valentines Day. It's not really a holiday we see as very important. It's our goal to love each other daily with our words and actions, and although the sentiment is endearing, it isn't very necessary to have a day out of the year to recognize our love for each other. My friends at work have been trying to figure out what they'll get for their boyfriends or try to guess what they are getting for them. It's cute. One girl had flowers delivered to her while at work yesterday. "The day isn't even here yet!" she exclaimed. I think that Valentines can have it's place, although I'm not a fan of what it can turn into.....disappointment over unmet expectations or an analyzation of one's worth if your find yourself without a valentine. You have worth and it's not defined by whether someone loves you (although, granted, it is a nice feeling). Your worth is found in the love God has for you, and the sacrifice He made with Jesus, so that he can be close to you, reunited with you. That won't change whether you have a valentine or not.

All of this having been said, I will wish you a Happy Feb. 14th. Caleb said he has a surprise for me. I know it's because he wants to show his love for me.....he always has little surprises for me. And today, just as yesterday and as I hope for tomorrow and so on, I hope to show my love for him.

How I'd fashion myself if I had the funds...

I was looking around online a while back and came across the store, Zara. I have discovered how much I love almost everything in that store. If it were an online store, I'd probably buy the things I could afford. Alas, I just look at them with longing.

These are just a few of the things in the store that I loved. So clean, simple and perfect. And here's the kicker... they have baby and kids clothes too! *sigh* I want babies... a lot.

And lastly, today I was browsing around and I came across another designer with amazing clothes and accessories. I wish my closet was the entire collection. The designer is Billy Reid. I'm discovering quickly how "preppy" my style tends to lean toward (with a slight touch of menswear). There is a dualism inside me on this matter, though....I am also in love with folky/hippie style, like the clothes Morgan fashioned for the Clyde's Rebirth lookbook.

Ready for a warm breeze...

Sooooo tired of this winter. Seriously. I'm from Arizona and I'm still not used to the Midwest climate. I'm definately ready for some sunshine and to start shedding all these layers. I don't like shivering and I don't think my husband likes how whiny I can be about how cold it is. He does a pretty good job about keeping me toasty. But still, can't spring come now?

Photos by Philip Rawson

Wanderlust

Vagabond. Gypsy. Wanderer. Traveller. Explorer. Drifter. There is something romantic about these. The aimless adventurer, continually decamped, no ties to a particular place or people... But I wonder what exactly draws us to this notion of drifting; what is so very attractive about it. There is definitely a concept of freedom that is tied to the idea of not having to stay in one place, to go where you please, eat and drink where and what you want, to not have to answer to anyone. There is also the sense of adventure in discovering something, whether it be a new place, new people, beautiful sights or simply, and maybe mostly, a sense of self-discovery. I think that may be at the heart of it. In the romanticism of the wanderer, we find at its roots a pursuit of self-discovery and self-truths, and I fear a fair amount of self-worship.

Is this freedom and discovery rooted in truth (or in the mindset of the drifter, does truth really matter)? They set their own rules, own ethics, their own guiding values, perhaps never realizing that it is perhaps selfishness that fuels everything they do. To be guided by what you want or don't want, what you like or don't like, and if something doesn't fit quite right, you excuse it, leave it, pretend it's not there, run away. You think that it's on the account of your own two feet that you have done this or that, gone here or there. You think you're in control. The vagabond is blind. We are always pursued and there is one always in control. He supersedes our will, our self discovery, our freedom to run away. His purpose is greater than any other we can figure out for ourselves. And try as we might to run further from this truth, I believe that deep down there is a restless nagging... Even if we suppress it, I believe that it is there. A deep aching in our gut for the truth that only God can satisfy. We try to fill it with beauty, with discovery, with the philosophies of life that we can muster, but they are all lacking. For what are beauty, creation, and the wonders of the world, aside from a reflection of the one who's careful design and creativity put them into place? Likewise, what are we, aside from His creation, with a choice to praise His artistry, His mercy and love, and the fact that He is, has been and always will be?

We run because we don't want to surrender control. We like being on the thrones of our lives. The problem is, it's a false sense of control. We are left dissatisfied and still hungry, as if we have quenched our appetites with a pinch of salt, and quiet the aching in our bellies with the racket of cymbals and gongs--anything to hush the realization that we cannot make ourselves whole. Yet if we surrender our selfishness, surrender our fear and misguided "freedom"...if we can admit to being needy, to being broken, to a need to be cradled...if we can be honest and humble before the Lord--He will satisfy, heal, make us whole, bring true freedom.

Luke 15:11-32