I'm going to be very frank...
I want a baby.
No. I want to start having children with my husband. I've seen the baby cravings of other women, and have experienced them myself in passing. This is different. Now, I'm just yearning to grow our family. I feel God preparing me for motherhood. I think about it every time I see a child. Caleb and I are basically waiting until he is done with school, which will be next December. Sometimes I don't know that I can wait that long. I know that God will help me with that....and if we are supposed to have them sooner, that will happen. But it seems I must wait a little longer.
It's strange because I never used to want to have kids. That is...until I met Caleb. When we started dating, I thought, 'huh....I can see myself having a family with him.' Since we've been married, this thought has grown and blossomed. I read books about parenting, babysit and observe other mothers, we even have names picked out.
So the past hour I've been blog browsing and have happened upon some blogs of some people I went to college with. Some are new mothers, others are pregnant....and I just ache for that in my own life.
God will give me peace. God will give me patience. And in this waiting time, I'm going to babysit. Lots.
*Sigh. Oh man.
Aww. December will come by in no time, and you'll be able to hold your baby in your arms. I can't wait to be married to have children either. But I think I have quite a bit of time until I get there. :-)
ReplyDeleteJust enjoy each other for now, Kel. Babies are nice but use this time for the two of you as a gift, because after you have kids you won't get it back for a while.
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