Artsy Fartsy

I was doing some time travel, via old blogs, xanga, facebook, and old back up discs. Talk about super nostalgic... Well, during this time I came across a ton of old pictures of me at various stages in life and also some art work that I've done in the past. It's fun looking back at the pieces I no longer have, and I thought, heck, I might as well share them with you fine folks. Most of these works were before I dared at painting. I'm a natural drawer, but I'm getting better with paint.

As you can see, at some point I decided I wanted to incorporate paint. I was still primarily drawing and just filling in my drawings with paint.

I'm a huge fans of portraits, obviously. I started experimenting with shading with paint.

This was a start of my more whimsical side. It's supposed to be how Caleb makes me feel. I made it when we were dating.

Then I started painting more for reals....and that's where I am today, still trying to do more of that.

"Ash Wednesday"

"Daniel 7"

Untitled

I'm currently working on a painting, but it's slow goings. Sorry this is such a picture heavy post, but hopefully you enjoyed it.

Happy Valentines!

Caleb and I generally don't celebrate Valentines Day. It's not really a holiday we see as very important. It's our goal to love each other daily with our words and actions, and although the sentiment is endearing, it isn't very necessary to have a day out of the year to recognize our love for each other. My friends at work have been trying to figure out what they'll get for their boyfriends or try to guess what they are getting for them. It's cute. One girl had flowers delivered to her while at work yesterday. "The day isn't even here yet!" she exclaimed. I think that Valentines can have it's place, although I'm not a fan of what it can turn into.....disappointment over unmet expectations or an analyzation of one's worth if your find yourself without a valentine. You have worth and it's not defined by whether someone loves you (although, granted, it is a nice feeling). Your worth is found in the love God has for you, and the sacrifice He made with Jesus, so that he can be close to you, reunited with you. That won't change whether you have a valentine or not.

All of this having been said, I will wish you a Happy Feb. 14th. Caleb said he has a surprise for me. I know it's because he wants to show his love for me.....he always has little surprises for me. And today, just as yesterday and as I hope for tomorrow and so on, I hope to show my love for him.

How I'd fashion myself if I had the funds...

I was looking around online a while back and came across the store, Zara. I have discovered how much I love almost everything in that store. If it were an online store, I'd probably buy the things I could afford. Alas, I just look at them with longing.

These are just a few of the things in the store that I loved. So clean, simple and perfect. And here's the kicker... they have baby and kids clothes too! *sigh* I want babies... a lot.

And lastly, today I was browsing around and I came across another designer with amazing clothes and accessories. I wish my closet was the entire collection. The designer is Billy Reid. I'm discovering quickly how "preppy" my style tends to lean toward (with a slight touch of menswear). There is a dualism inside me on this matter, though....I am also in love with folky/hippie style, like the clothes Morgan fashioned for the Clyde's Rebirth lookbook.

Ready for a warm breeze...

Sooooo tired of this winter. Seriously. I'm from Arizona and I'm still not used to the Midwest climate. I'm definately ready for some sunshine and to start shedding all these layers. I don't like shivering and I don't think my husband likes how whiny I can be about how cold it is. He does a pretty good job about keeping me toasty. But still, can't spring come now?

Photos by Philip Rawson

Wanderlust

Vagabond. Gypsy. Wanderer. Traveller. Explorer. Drifter. There is something romantic about these. The aimless adventurer, continually decamped, no ties to a particular place or people... But I wonder what exactly draws us to this notion of drifting; what is so very attractive about it. There is definitely a concept of freedom that is tied to the idea of not having to stay in one place, to go where you please, eat and drink where and what you want, to not have to answer to anyone. There is also the sense of adventure in discovering something, whether it be a new place, new people, beautiful sights or simply, and maybe mostly, a sense of self-discovery. I think that may be at the heart of it. In the romanticism of the wanderer, we find at its roots a pursuit of self-discovery and self-truths, and I fear a fair amount of self-worship.

Is this freedom and discovery rooted in truth (or in the mindset of the drifter, does truth really matter)? They set their own rules, own ethics, their own guiding values, perhaps never realizing that it is perhaps selfishness that fuels everything they do. To be guided by what you want or don't want, what you like or don't like, and if something doesn't fit quite right, you excuse it, leave it, pretend it's not there, run away. You think that it's on the account of your own two feet that you have done this or that, gone here or there. You think you're in control. The vagabond is blind. We are always pursued and there is one always in control. He supersedes our will, our self discovery, our freedom to run away. His purpose is greater than any other we can figure out for ourselves. And try as we might to run further from this truth, I believe that deep down there is a restless nagging... Even if we suppress it, I believe that it is there. A deep aching in our gut for the truth that only God can satisfy. We try to fill it with beauty, with discovery, with the philosophies of life that we can muster, but they are all lacking. For what are beauty, creation, and the wonders of the world, aside from a reflection of the one who's careful design and creativity put them into place? Likewise, what are we, aside from His creation, with a choice to praise His artistry, His mercy and love, and the fact that He is, has been and always will be?

We run because we don't want to surrender control. We like being on the thrones of our lives. The problem is, it's a false sense of control. We are left dissatisfied and still hungry, as if we have quenched our appetites with a pinch of salt, and quiet the aching in our bellies with the racket of cymbals and gongs--anything to hush the realization that we cannot make ourselves whole. Yet if we surrender our selfishness, surrender our fear and misguided "freedom"...if we can admit to being needy, to being broken, to a need to be cradled...if we can be honest and humble before the Lord--He will satisfy, heal, make us whole, bring true freedom.

Luke 15:11-32

My apologies...

I am a bad blogger. Somehow it is hard for me to post regularly. I have about five posts that are currently being constructed, but not quite finished and I had every intention of posting a Wellness Wednesday, alas, I did not. I was discouraged at work while talking with a coworker about eating healthy. I actually said some of the things that were going in the post, and they just didn't resonate with her. So I didn't post. I will post next Wednesday in hopes that my thoughts are more cohesive.

Anyway, like I said, I'm a bad blogger. Sometimes I don't have time, and sometimes when I have time, I use it doing something else. I'll be honest, I'm not going to beat myself up over not posting but maybe twice a week--I will say, however, that this is a habit that sneaks it's way into other aspects of my life. I will put off priorities for comfort or laziness or distraction. I don't always keep my focus on my goals. I know this was a post about being bad at posting, but it is also a heart problem.

I want my heart to be aligned to what God wants me to do and where He wants to go. If I let my weaknesses sink deeper in, that will only make it harder to be alert to His calling. I know this is something I'll need God's help on. I'm hoping that when I know I should be loving my husband better, comforting a friend, sharing truth with someone who needs to hear it, or even blogging regularly--letting my heart be transparent--that God can give me the motivation to do these things in a way that brings Him glory.

To bob or not to bob?

That is my question right now. My hair is....well, it's crying out for help. When a style starts growing out, I resort to pinning it back....

...I need to start back a little further. My hair has been long. Always. Growing up, it was always long. I also always had bangs (spare a few years in high school). When I graduated from high school, I decided to chop it off. I loved it short, but over time I let it grow long again. My second year in college, I had a friend chop in to a shaggy mulletesque cut and I loved it.....but over the summer, I let it grow out...and it didn't grow out pretty. I had the same friend cut it again, only, it ended up much more butchered than I could handle. I swore then that I would never get my hair cut anywhere near my chin. It took me two years to grow it out completely, and one extra year of having it longer than I liked. This past summer I chopped it, but because I was afraid to go too short, I got something just longer than a bob. It looked.....boring. Now it is medium in length with bangs and I'm feeling unsettled.

Recap in Pictures

Growing Up

First chop in 2003

Shaggy mullet

Bad helmet-head short cut

Grew it long.

And this is my unfortunate look when anything starts to grow out.

Well, I'm tired of looking like that last picture. I'm also not wanting my hair long like I thought I did. I feel like I've been there done that, and although it doesn't look bad on me, I think something shorter may be more flattering. So here's what I'm thinking, and feed back would be greatly appreciated:

Jessi Rivera

don't remember where this one came from.

Keep in mind I have fine, straight hair (though it can get wavy if I really mess with it). I tried to find pictures accordingly. I also acknowledge the fact that if I get one of these cuts, I'm one step closer to Erin of Calivintage's amazing hair cuts. I don't know that I can pull them off as she does, but our face structure is similar, which makes me wonder. I especially like this and this.

So what do you think? Can I pull off a short bob? Or shorter?

Pretty Inspiration

It's cold and snowy outside. I needed something prettier and greener to look at...

None of these pictures are mine. I don't remember where I collected them. They are too pretty not to share.

So far so good.

It has begun to snow and is not supposed to stop until 5am on Wednesday. Brrrr! Being from Arizona, I'm not entirely used to this. But it has been a nice afternoon. Upon coming home from work, I found a box left for my at our doorstep. I love getting packages. They were some cute shoes from Ruche that I will be wearing at my friend, Debra's, wedding in March! They are adorable and comfy! I had decided to take a picture of them (and the snow) and thought I might as well take a picture of something else I recently acquired.  Well, I've already mentioned my desire for a baby in my previous post, and for the entire holiday season, I had been tempted to purchase something from the toy department at my work (which is conveniently in front of where we take our breaks). One day, I finally broke down and thought, 'today is the day I buy that adorable stuffed toy!', only to find that they were all gone! I was very sad, as anyone at my work can attest. I had been saying I wanted it for my future children for about a month. Well, last night, I was clocking out from work, and walked through the toys and saw a friend working in that department. I decided to ask her whatever happened to them and she told me they moved to the clearance section. I ran calmly walked over to that aisle (which was, and always is, a disaster zone) and searched for it. I found a few others like it...... and then suddenly, underneath the rubble of toys, there he was! The cutest, most adorable, little Donald Duck you've ever seen in your entire life. And 1/2 off!!! I'm so happy he's mine!!!!!! er....um, I mean my future children's!

So that has been me lately. Cheers.

Ruche shoes!

The cutest thing in all of the world (until my babies are here)!

Watching Francis Chan's Basic series with my hubby.

Chalkboard coffee cups we got for Christmas.

Snowing steady.